Forget completely your desire to overcome, and instead think about how you might offer a more safe environment, thus allowing that person to respond in their own best interest. Before you start making seemingly random shifts in a person's behavior, help that person get a different perspective on what they are wanting to change. When you are in the process of helping this person, place the presenting problem on the side. Forget it. Then, after you have provided a safe environment, begin eliciting positive resources. Times of accomplishment, times of delightful surprise, times of enjoyment. Times when that person was able to offer love and support to a family member. Help that person elicit things that they like about themselves, qualities they hold dear, attributes that are positive. Have them look at times when they didn't think they could do something only to find out later that they could, and did.
Stack all of these elicitations together. Have them turn up the submodalites of each positive elicitation as you stack them together. Then, after you have helped elicit and have stacked all of those experiences, have them look at the presenting problem, and tell them to take care of it themselves. Believe me, once they have in their hands all of the resources I have mentioned, they will be able to.
As far as I am concerned, a skilled hypnotist doesn't need to change a thing, doesn't need to overcome any difficulty. All a skilled hypnotist needs to do is to elicit the appropriate resources in the client, and the client will do the rest. And yes, it is that easy. Human beings are quite capable. The reason for not having been able make the change in the first place has to do with the resources they were accessing to make the change they wanted to make. All you need do is to help them in connecting with many of the resources they now have that they have yet to use that would be useful.
OH! Now I remember! The old saying is, "You can lead someone to water, but you can't make them drink." However, if you know how, you can remind them just how thirsty they really are, and drink they will. And when you do so with respect and caring, how satisfying that drink will be.
Article By: Carmine Baffa